The Pitfalls of Perfectionism
Why finished rubbish is better than perfect nothing
I’ve been working on revisions this week - reading through the mess of a manuscript I wrote, taking notes on all the places I got the timeline wrong, or fudged the worldbuilding, or straight up skipped an entire scene. My inner perfectionist is screaming.
Another time, I would not have made it through this rough draft to the end. I would have stopped, gone back, started changing things, editing out the mistakes before I got to the ending - but the problem is, until I’ve got to the ending, I don’t know what story it is I’m trying to tell.
My perfectionist brain paralyses me. It points out every little inconsistency, loudly reminding me that I missed that detail, or I don’t quite know how my magic system works yet, or I haven’t figured out the layout of the roads in this fictional city. These are all things I can fix later. And yet, I used to really struggle to move past the mistake, let it sit there, and continue writing. It was like a beacon shining out of the page going THIS IS WRONG and I was blinded to the next scene I was attempting to finish.
This time around, I’ve been following the amazing Susan Dennard’s outline for how to complete revisions, and it’s a game-changer. I made myself finish the first draft even when it was all wrong, and now I’m going through the whole thing making colour-coded notes on where all the problems are. The result: I’m going to have a clear idea of what needs fixing, and a plan for how to implement the changes I want to make.
Revolutionary.
I would have been flying blind before - scrabbling around inside my manuscript, sure of nothing except it was wrong. Changing and editing along the way means I get muddled. I also often ended up rewriting the same scene multiple times, fixing one problem each time, instead of taking a bird’s eye view of the story and rewriting all the issues in one big sweep.
That’s what I’m aiming for this time. How successful I’ll be remains to be seen, but I’m a lot more confident already. There is a nugget of a good plot inside this draft. I can see character arcs begin to chrystallise, settings come to life in my mind, and key motivations and plot points start to come together. I feel like I’m going to know my story inside and out before I start revising, and that’s never happened before.
I’m excited to get into revisions. I’ve been making it through about 50 pages per day (my printed manuscript is 460 pages, phew) and I’m on track to have all my notes taken by the weekend. That means Sunday will be all about making a game plan. I’m so ready to get back into my scenes.
I still hear that little perfectionist voice in the back of my mind. It’s going now - how am I going to get everything fixed first time, I still haven’t finished all my worldbuilding, the magic system needs a tweak, and on and on. When I really can’t get it to quiet down, I jot down all the thoughts crowding my mind on a piece of paper next to my laptop, so I can still see it, but it’s not covering my entire vision anymore. That lets me keep working - and if a thought crops up again, I just check it off. It’s like saying: yes, I know this isn’t perfect, but until it exists I can’t fix it.
I have a sticker from redbubble on my writing pinboard that says ‘Finished Crap is better than Perfect Nothing’. I have never needed anything more. I am genuinely considering getting it tattooed, because it’s true of most things in life, not just writing. I was stuck in unpacking my kitchen right after we moved because I wasn’t sure I’d like where I put everything. I sort of forget that I can change things around later if I don’t like how it’s set up first time - but the perfectionist in me freezes, wraps fear around my heart, and whispers that if I can’t get it right first time, then there’s no point at all. It gets a lot louder when I’m creating an entire universe out of nothing, instead of simply organising one room.
Worldbuilding is also a lot of fun. I’m trying to find the play in it more, rather than getting caught up on making sure it all makes sense from the off. I can fix any plot holes that crop up. It doesn’t need to be flawless. Hard lessons to learn, but I’m proving it to myself with each new draft, every revision that gets me that little bit closer to done.
The other problem is, I will never submit anything ever again if I wait for my writing to be perfect. There will always be something to nitpick. I’m getting comfortable with the knowledge that my mistakes will be out there in the world, just sitting, doing no damage. It doesn’t hurt anyone after all, does it? But perfectionism certainly can hurt me.
So back into revisions I go! Check back next week to see how many notes I ended up with. Spoiler: I already have over 100 plot elements that need fixing
Hope you’re having a cosy time in your corner of the world,
Jase